At the beginning of the semester, in my first blog, I began my blog by referencing the book Unequal Childhoods by Annette Lareau. However, at that time, I had not met any of the children at I Have a Dream Foundation and had only begun some of the other class readings. Consequently, my understanding of the true meaning of the issues raised in the book was not even close to complete. I found that taking a second look at the book, since it is this week’s class reading, was quite interesting as I read with a new perspective and more knowledge about the problems our education system creates along with a greater understanding of the developmental process of children. Lareau uses her own studies of individual children and their parents to explain how social class strongly impacts family life. She also argues that one’s economic class influences how children cultivate skills, regardless of their race. One of her main points, and the key point I want to discuss in this blog, is that parents of various social and economic classes utilize different parenting tools.
Lareau believes there are two distinct parenting styles: Concerted cultivation and achievement of natural growth. At first, the suggestion that there are two different ways in which parents raise their children rubbed me the wrong way. This seemed like too much of a generalization because obviously no two parents raise their children the same way. It made me think back to my own childhood and how, especially when I was very young, the variance in household rules always struck me. Sometimes I was jealous that some of my friends could do things that I was unable to and other times I found myself frustrated that there were so many rules. However, when I took a step back to truly comprehend what Lareau was claiming I realized there are characteristics of parenting that spread across families and are very closely tied to their economic status. I don’t think parenting can be broken down as simply as she does in this book. Nonetheless, her points were definitely discussion starters that made me think differently about childhood development. The over-simplification of ideas is something that would have been difficult to avoid and her thoughts are provocative, just like the other authors we’ve read thus far that have over simplified in their interpretations of concepts, such as how racism is defined.
However, if we analyze parenting according to Lareau, concerted cultivation is the parenting style that middle class families use. What is concerted cultivation? Well, Lareau believes that this style is one that involves a great deal of structure. Often, parents enroll their children in numerous events and involve them in numerous scheduled activities, such as sports and music lessons. They also have much more intense verbal interactions with their children. By this I do not mean more yelling, but rather there are simply more explanations behind decisions and middle-class parents are more likely to ask their children how their days were or ask about their day to day lives. They also are much more likely to intervene in their children’s activities, including school (if the child seems to be struggling or has an issue), in order to make their child’s life more convenient and accommodate their needs. It seems like this parenting style has its benefits, especially in the sense that it helps the children develop social skills and improve their ability to deal with adults. Middle-class children, though, are more likely to whine and demand things, or even complain they are bored. This is a problem because this parenting type tends to allow children to believe they can get their way. They don’t have to put as much effort into obtaining goals. I think that our society seems to favor this style because it seems to reward the interpersonal skills and other skills it teaches. Despite my belief that society favors one of the styles over the other, Lareau is quick to point out that each of the parenting methods have their strengths and weaknesses.
Personally, I find that I can relate to the “concerted cultivation” style of parenting. My early childhood was spent involved in numerous sports, dance, and music lessons. At times I almost felt as though I had no free time. When I did have down time I would often complain of boredom because I was so accustomed to my parents and others planning out my daily activities that I was too lazy to do so on my own. However, they also taught me a lot about how to talk to adults and how to handle myself in social situations. It helped me develop a close relationship with my parents in particular.
On the contrary, Lareau describes the working-class parenting style as the accomplishment of natural growth. With this style, the parents focus on merely the basics. Rather than focusing on extra-curricular activities, they make their goal as head of the house to provide for their children. These parents make their priorities the responsibilities of making sure their children have a roof over their head, are appropriately clothed, clean and healthy, and are fed adequate amounts of food. From working in Builders Club and seeing the child to parent interactions that occur as children are being picked up and are at their homes outside of the I Have a Dream Foundation, I find that this is often the case. For me, it was especially noticeable with the Builders Club that I worked for because I spent much more one on one time with the children. There were instances where you could tell the parents were even struggling to provide the basic needs of the children. However, many of these children are much more independent and able to entertain themselves because they are accustomed to having so much unstructured time. From some of the short conversations I’ve had with the children at IHAD regarding their school days, I can tell that many of them are used to finding things to do with their time. Even on days like today when they don’t have school and I drive by, I see them playing outside their houses together. Much more of their time is unstructured.
One of the difficulties I have with identifying the two parenting styles goes back to the fact that it can be difficult to make the distinction between who is middle class and who is considered working-class. There are obviously people that can strongly fit under one category or the other, but there are others that fall in the middle. Despite all of this, I think that it is beneficial to look back at Lareau’s model and see the benefits and weaknesses that accrue from each.
No comments:
Post a Comment